A Rainbow After the Storm

I'm dragging myself back to blogging today, after days of going around the house and doing whatever comes to my mind. I finished reading three pocketbooks, and spent hours watching shows on cable. Sometimes, I sleep the whole afternoon and lie awake at night. Today, I woke up refreshed and decided to visit my sites. Thank you guys for the regular visits, though I was inactive for quite some time.

Although I still feel lonely for losing Elaine, I feel that God has always been with us. And after the loss, God delivered another gift to us, one that reminds me that life just has to go on.

My husband called me early Sunday morning (that was Father's Day). I felt excitement in his voice, though he tried to sound casual about it. He said he just got a promotion, he is now the manager of their company's new network program. Previously, he was the network administrator but now, a new department has been launched solely for their JD Edward program, and he sits on top of it. I know this didn't come easy for him, he had to attend seminars in different places like Johannesburg, South Africa and more recently, in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I am just so happy for him because the truth is, I had been hoping for such a promotion years ago. Honestly, I lost hope because there has never been a Filipino manager in any important department of their company. I think he is the first ever! So I believe that the company truly sees his loyalty and capacity to manage his own department.

The news is like rainbow after the storm in my life. It gives me the strength to move on, it makes me realize that my family is still here, needing me to keep them together. Storms could shake our lives at times when we least expect them, and they could damage us to some extent, but all we really have to remember is that they always pass. All we have to remember, most of all, is that there's a rainbow after a storm.

GOODBYE

Yesterday, I had a wake-up call from my nephew, Elaine's brother. She passed away, the doctors tried to revive her when they brought her to the hospital but they failed. She's gone and I feel a vacant spot in my heart for the closest niece that I ever had.

Looking at her, I came to think that perhaps she stopped fighting for her life because she can no longer bear her pain. I was there the day before she died and I witnessed the unbearable pain that she felt during her spasm. I can't help thinking too that maybe, God heard her prayer, because she was asking to end it all.

We will be laying her to rest tomorrow afternoon and it would be the last time that I will be able to see her. I hope she will have the eternal peace and that the rest of us who are left behind, will continue to cherish the memories she has left deep inside each of us.

To my favorite niece and my best friend... Goodbye!

Life is full of surprises!

I went to the bakery shop of my sister the other day because I missed eating her dice hopia filled with black mongo. Since my sister got bedridden, her youngest and only son takes over the management of the shop. While eating, we talked about a lot of things, trying to fill in the gaps of family news since we last saw each other. Mostly, we talked about our dogs (they have 11!). My son and my nephew compared notes about buying and selling breed dogs.

Suddenly, my nephew dropped a bombshell when he told me that his older sister, Elaine, who happens to be the closest niece I ever had (because she is only a year older than me), has cancer. The news shocked me because I never thought of her being sick. She has always been healthy, although a bit overweight. He said that she underwent a surgery on her gall bladder last month and they thought everything was fine after the operation. On Mother's Day, while she was having dinner with her children in a restaurant, she had a sudden stomach cramp and started vomiting so they rushed her to the hospital. More tests revealed she had cancer.

I wanted to see her, hug her, and comfort her. But what can one say to a dying person? When a person is sick, you visit and tell her that everything will be alright. But what if she's dying? How can you comfort a person who knows that she has only a few months to live? Would she like me to talk to her about her illness? About death? About religion? About life after death? About her children who will be left behind? Honestly, I don't know what I might even say when I go visit her.

So this morning, I just called her up. I told her that her brother told me she had a surgery and that I just wanted to know how she is now. She said she's fine and she sounded really fine, rather cheerful by the sound of her voice. Perhaps she was faking it, or perhaps she still is in the stage of denying how ill she is. Whether she is putting on a strong front or denying, the fact is, she doesn't want me to talk about it. It's so surprising that at times like this when you want to reach out your hand to comfort her and offer your shoulder to cry on, she chooses to ignore them. One thing left for me to do is pray that if there is indeed a miracle, I want her to have it. After all, God works in mysterious ways.
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College Scholarship

My daughter took the scholarship exam last year for the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration (OWWA) dependents. They told us the result would come out last April but it didn't. Finally, they uploaded it on their website last Thursday, May 22. Unfortunately, my daughter did not make it to the top 100. I just recently knew that there will only be a hundred slots for OFW dependents nationwide.

Can you imagine that? There are thousands of overseas foreign workers who are pouring in dollars in remittance to the country and they could only afford a hundred scholars? Call me a sore loser, but I thought that anyone (regardless of how many) could avail of the benefit as long as they pass the exam. Since it is a requirement for those who may want to take the exam to have good grades, I thought all those who qualified and took it and passed, can have the scholarship. But no, since there are only a hundred slots, naturally it follows that only those who are on the top 100 examinees will be taken. It should have been fair is to set a margin, an actual passing average for the test and all those who garnered the average score can avail of the scholarship, no matter how many.

The scholarship program offers PhP30,000.00 per semester for each scholar. This is more than enough to pay for one student's tuition fees alone. This could also cover the books and the allowance. It would have been a big help for us but what can we do? It's the way they run things, and like it or not, we cannot avail of the benefit. Guess I have to stretch my budget again with another child going into college when school opens this year.

just merely rambling...

It's been days since I last peeked into my sites because I was hooked on the DVDs that my eldest and his girlfriend gave me last Mother's Day. They gave me six (!), three korean films and the Dr. House series (1-3).

I finished watching Dr. House and my eyes are bleary. Imagine I was sleeping at 2 in the morning just because I detest the idea of leaving the series midway! Actually, I hate the personality of Dr. House and as the films progressed, I hated him more. I cannot imagine that a jerk like him could really exist in the real world. But, if there is one thing that is good in him, it is his ability to drive on and on until he is able to diagnose the symptoms and heal the patient. His confidence is enormous, his ego is spiteful, but his curiosity is oftentimes the reason for his unrelenting drive. For this, I sort of admire the man his guts.

I am writing about him here because there were lessons learned from my watching the series. In all honesty, I would describe myself as passive, not really the type who knows what she wants and does everything to get what she wants. Sometimes, I want something but if I feel it's out of my grasp, I'd settle for the next best thing. Not really good, right? Well, I guess it's just me. I'm easily satisfied with what I get, what I have, and what I can't have is just that... I can't have them! I get to live without them.

My children are different though, perhaps they get their attitude from their father, my husband. They're all outspoken (which I am not, because I hate saying things that may hurt people), they seem to know what they want to do with their lives, and they work to achieve what they want. I don't want to change them, I like their guts. It's me that need to change, but the change will be very very hard to make because this is just me.

Now I'm really rambling! Pardon me, but I got nothing else to write, just give this menopausal lady a chance to ramble...

Internet Cafe or Transport Business?

My husband wanted me to have a small business of my own, a kind of business that earns daily, something that could augment his income. His advice is to open a small internet cafe or buy one or two passenger-type jeepneys.

A "jeepney" is a vehicle that caters to commuters, duly licensed by the Land Transportation Office. It has a franchise to operate in a certain route, from the city to the suburbs, or from the city to the northern and southern parts of the province. The minimum fare is PhP6.00 for the first five (5) kms. So, the idea here is to rent out your vehicle to drivers who pay the boundary fee of, let's say, PhP700.00 daily, depending on the route and on the kind of vehicle that you rent out. Maintenance cost of repairs and parts are shouldered by the owner. Usually, you have a regular driver and an extra driver for the days when he rests or when he cannot drive. This way, your jeepney can operate daily without a hitch.

While an internet cafe is a place where you rent out computers to users on an hourly basis. Before, when computers were still expensive, the hourly rental is PhP20.00 to PhP25.00, but now that internet cafes are all over the city, the rental goes down to PhP15.00 and some net owners even have promos for PhP10.00/hour. You also have to rent a place, install an airconditioner, perhaps hire a staff to help with the users.The maintenance cost here comprises of the rental, electric bill, water bill (you should have a restroom!), staff's salary, internet access fee, and repairs of computer units.

I'm still undecided on what to choose between these two business ideas. If you were me, which is the better choice - an internet cafe or a transport business?

Human Rights Violations in Somalia

Today, Bloggers Unite asked its members to post something that is relevant to human rights and human rights violations. As I was browsing through the internet, I came upon the Amnesty USA website and I found their press release about the current state of affairs in Somalia. For us who live in the democratic countries, this comes as a shock to us that despite the fact that people now live in civilized ways, acts of savagery still persist in places like Somalia.

My prayers go to its abused citizens with the fervent hope that this would end and peace and order will finally reign.


PRESS RELEASE/http://www.amnestyusa.org
May, 01 2008

Killing of civilians now routine in Somalia

(Nairobi) Amnesty International today released a groundbreaking report revealing the dire human rights and humanitarian crisis facing the people of Somalia.

The report contains first-hand testimony from scores of traumatized survivors of the conflict, exposing the violations and abuses they have suffered at the hands of a complex mix of perpetrators. These perpetrators include Ethiopian and Transitional Federal Government (TFG) troops on the one hand, and armed groups on the other.

“The people of Somalia are being , raped, killed, tortured; looting is widespread and entire neighbourhoods are being destroyed,” said Michelle Kagari, Africa Programme Deputy Director at Amnesty International, speaking from Nairobi.

Witnesses described to Amnesty International an increasing incidence of Ethiopian troops killing by what is locally termed “slaughtering” or “killing like goats” -- referring to killing by slitting the throat. The victims of these killings are often left lying in pools of blood in the streets until armed fighters, including snipers, move out of the area and relatives can collect their bodies.

In one case, a 15-year-old girl found her father with his throat cut upon returning home from school, after Ethiopian security forces swept through her neighbourhood.

Other cases in the report include:

• Haboon, a 56-year-old woman from Mogadishu, who said her neighbour’s 17-year-old daughter was raped by Ethiopian troops. When her 13 and 14-year-old sons tried to defend their sister, the soldiers beat them and took their eyes out with a bayonet. The mother fled. It is not known what happened to the boys. This girl is in a coma as a result of the injuries she sustained during the attack.

• Qorran, another 56-year-old woman from Mogadishu, described how after her family went to bed, she went out to collect charcoal. While she was out, a rocket propelled grenade was fired at her home, completely destroying it. She said, “When I came back, I couldn’t find my house.” Her husband and sons were all killed in the attack. She told Amnesty International, “If grief is going to kill anyone it’s going to kill me.”

• Guled, aged 32, who said that he saw his neighbours “slaughtered”. He said he saw many men whose throats were slit and whose bodies were left in the street. Some had their testicles cut off. He also saw women being raped. In one incident, his newly-wed neighbour whose husband was not home was raped by over twenty Ethiopian soldiers.

“The testimony we received strongly suggests that war crimes and possibly crimes against humanity have been committed by all parties to the conflict in Somalia – and no one is being held accountable,” said Kagari.

“The human rights and humanitarian situation in Somalia is growing worse by the day. This report represents the voices of ordinary Somalis, and their plea to the international community to take action to end the attacks against them, including those committed by internationally-supported TFG and Ethiopian forces.”

Security in many parts of Mogadishu is non-existent, and the entire population of Mogadishu bears the scars of having witnessed or experienced egregious violations of human rights and international humanitarian law.

“There is no safety for civilians, wherever they run. Those fleeing violence in Mogadishu are attacked on the road and those lucky enough to reach a camp or settlement face further violence and dire conditions.”

The Transitional Federal Government, as the recognized government of Somalia, bears the primary responsibility for protecting the human rights of the Somali people. However, the Ethiopian military, which is taking a leading role in backing the TFG, also bears responsibility.

“Attacks on civilians by all parties must stop immediately. Also, the international community must bear its own responsibility for not putting consistent pressure on the TFG or the Ethiopian government to stop their armed forces from committing egregious human rights violations.”

Amnesty International urged that the capacity of the UN Political Office for Somalia be strengthened, and that AMISOM – and any succeeding UN peacekeeping mission – be mandated to protect civilians and include a strong human rights component with the capacity to investigate human rights violations.

The organization also called for the UN arms embargo on Somalia to be strengthened, amongst other recommendations.