Saturday, April 26, 2008

The End

Remember what I wrote about in my older posts? I told the story of Mark and Anne.

To recap, Mark went off to Saudi Arabia to work there as an industrial electrician, leaving his wife and two children here in the Philippines, so he could earn more and save more for the future of his kids. Wage of manual labor here is so meager, and even for food alone, it can barely sustain the family. So he chose to work abroad as an overseas foreign worker.

Anne, on the other hand, who also wishes to give the children a better future, chatted online with foreign males and married one, while his common-law (they were not legally married) husband was still abroad.

Now, Mark came home on the second week of April, without a wife to welcome him, and only his children to give him strength and sanity to move on.

I was expecting he'd blow his head off when we went to see the kids at his in-laws' place, but my fear was unfounded. He remained calm as he listened to his in-laws' washing of their hands, telling him how they could not stop Anne from marrying the foreigner; about Anne's determination to uplift her status in life for her children; and about how he could move on by looking for another woman who would stay by him through his ups and downs. Mark took all these in silence, perhaps fearing he might say words that could be out of line.

The children came to stay with him for a week and he showered them with gifts, taking them shopping and eating out. I can see how the kids missed their father, and they were outspoken about their choice, that they'd rather stay with him than join their mother in the States.

I do not condemn what Anne did because I understand that she only wished security for her children. But I cannot help taking sides because I know that Mark is doing everything he can to give them what she wishes for.

In the Cebuano dialect, there is a saying that goes "Bisag saging, basta loving". It means that even if you share a single banana between the two of you, it doesn't matter, as long as you love each other. Guess this isn't true anymore....


Barry said...

Wow - I guess that really sucks for him.

I guess this hits close to home for you in your situation.

The_Sphinx's World said...

In a way, yes it does. my husband has been working abroad for years but i was and still am faithful to him. the sacrifice that he made for me and for our children is enough reason to stay faithful to him.

Mark has been unlucky. I'm urging him to move on. By the way, he is a member of our family and he is staying with us now, choosing not to go home to his empty house. the kids are staying with Anne's family.

And it's so true, it really sucks for him.

rahamitz said...

First, I would like to thank you, Kabayan for your comment on my post about my kids... They are real blessings from above.

Too bad for Mark. I pity him for his situation.

One reason why I prefer not to work outside the country is to be able to be always with my family. My Love and guidance for my growing children. There were chances but I preferred to stay. There are a lot of decent jobs in our country to do. I chose to have my own. In fact, my three other sibblings (we are four and I am the youngest) all went to work abroad leaving their family for a number of years. Seems ok at first because they were earning more that what they used to earn here. But money is not everything. Money just cant buy what their families really need - love, being around... I maybe wrong, but somehow, this works for me and my family. We are always praying God for His provision.

No offense meant but most people are just so choosy and wants to climb up the ladder the easiest way. Even sacrificing their love ones....

The_Sphinx's World said...

My husband wanted to work here and there was a time when he really resigned from the company but unfortunately, the pay was really small and he wasn't able to endure the hardship of commuting to the northern part of the city everyday. we live in the south, by the way. He said his energy is consumed by the traffic alone. and since the Arabian company sent somebody here to negotiate with him for rehiring, he went back.

Even with his absence, my children still have the same love and respect that they give me towards their father. I think it depends on the wife on how constantly she reminds the kids of the great sacrifice that their father incurred for their sake.

I now have four college students and although two work in a call center, I am in doubt if they pursue this. My second son worked for a year and then stopped so he could continue with his studies because of promotion problems regarding his being an undergraduate.

Life, is sure, not easy no matter what your choice may be.

thanks for the comment.

Pinay Jade said...

This is a very sad story.

In some point I understand the woman, but Mark was doing his best,it should have been enough.It is unfair.

I hope that Mark finds somebody that deserves him.

The_Sphinx's World said...

I second that wish too, Jade. He is scheduled to leave again next month. He told his wife (they chatted via the internet) to go ahead with the petition. Anyway, he said that the children are old enough to remember him. He said that ang anak, kahit matagalan man, maghahanap din ng ama.

And I think he's right.

piebuko said...

I remember that story. It made me sad for him.
He's blessed to have you to help him through this difficult time.
You said that you don't want to judge Anne, but I am judging her!
There's nothing that would justify what she did.
Leaving her husband? fine.
But to leave her children behind???!

The_Sphinx's World said...

Pie, nakakalungkot talaga to think that some people set values on things so differently from our own. Well, I think she just want to be sure she can have everything she needs.

The word she used when they talked thru internet was, she was merely being "practical".

piebuko said...

I doubt it if her children would see it like that.
They'd call it ABANDONMENT.

Lynda Lehmann said...

I cannot judge someone I don't know, but I'm old-fashioned in that I believe in commitment.

Though they were not married, I think she should have resumed the relationship with him being present at home and in their lives, before looking elsewhere.

earthlingorgeous said...

All is fair in love and war eh? I just couldn't imagine havin' the guts to leave your children and husband for a greener pastures... but well we don't know what's in her mind when she left them.

I could only imagine how her children felt though, they must be torn.

The_Sphinx's World said...


I really don't know what being "practical" means to her and her mom. Her mom also used that word when she talked to Mark while trying to explain her daughter's action.


Only she knows what her real reason is. but i guess she thinks she will have a better life in the States. The filipino misconception of earning dollars there is easy, it could make you rich, by philippine standard of living.


the children are outspoken in their choice, they want to be with their father rather than their mom. but they're young and should she petition and bring them there, they might change their views as they grow older. hopefully not.

Pinay Jade said...

I feel really sad for this family.Due to our Ph government's incapability to provide better paying jobs for our fellowmen...they are forced to do crazy things and everybody else's lives are affected in anyway we look at it.

anyway, I have a tag for you - A question for you!
Check it out when you have the time! Have a great day!

lin said...